On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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