Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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