There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
