Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Actions speak louder than pants.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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