she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
