im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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