Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
