My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
