I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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