but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
