i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
