Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
