you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
