told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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