he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
