Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
