Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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