@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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