Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
