Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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