there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
