i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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