uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
