i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
