I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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