I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
