hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
