why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
