if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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