if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
