every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
