She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
