I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
