You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
