don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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