It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
