Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
