Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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