i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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