I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
