Already got asked if we're dating
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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