I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
