This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I want a musical about memes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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