dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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