i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
