Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
