She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
