Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
