Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
