I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
