I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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