she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
