Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
