physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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