I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
