I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
