Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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